Ramblings About My Girls!

I have to say, I have an amazing little girl. Kayla is only 6 years old but has the heart and soul of a much older person. I call her my "little old soul". She is so into people and making them happy. She gets along with everyone, I don't think she has an enemy. At school Kayla is friends with everyone. Kayla loves everyone and cares so much for everyone. She asks almost on a daily basis about members of our family and is so concerned when someone is sick or hurt. Kayla even asks about my friends and every one of my friends is so into her. They always ask about her when I talk to them and when I meet up with them for lunches or dinners, Kayla is often invited! She can carry on an adult conversation with so many people it is funny. I will never forget the time we were out at my parents house and my brother was on the deck, Kayla followed him out there. He pops his head in the door and says "Oh my god, I'm having an adult conversation with Kayla right now!" So grown up and so truly interested in people.
Her memory is absolutely amazing! She can remember things that happened that were, to me, just petty things and she will talk to me and say "Remember when..." She amazes me! She has this thirst for knowledge that is unbelievable, she is like a sponge! As a teacher I watch as students develop over several years but watching her just astounds me!
Kayla is such a great big sister too. SHe is so willing to help me wheever I need it and she truly just LOVES her little sister. She can be found reading to Audrey almost daily and she is always giving hugs ad kisses to her. When I pick Kayla up from school, it's Audrey that gets the first hug and kiss, not mommy anymore! I am sooooo grateful that she loves her baby sister so much!
Can you tell I'm a very proud mom?! I don't know where she gets this all from!

I have had a lot of time to think lately, for some reason Audrey thinks it's fun to get up around 3:00ish every morning. It's amazing how quiet the house is and how much thinking you do when it's just you and a sweet little girl! Even though at times I complain about getting up during the night with her, I wouldn't change it for anything, especially since there will be no more babies in our house. The other night I was sitting with Audrey trying to get her to burp just listening to the sweet little sounds she was making. So sweet! Her little head was on my shoulder and her little arm was around my neck and she was doing what I call her "purring" in my ear!! How sweet she is! I am trying to absorb as many of these moments as I possibly can and save them up! I am getting so depressed about going back to work in two weeks and I am going to so miss my bonding time with her. I think we have done a great job of bonding over the last three months even though I was so concerned about this while I was in the hospital when I had her. I just realized the other day that I didn't get to even "meet" Audrey until 14 hours after she was born! I was worried about not seeing her in the hospital hardly at all while we were there for the week and not having that time to immediately form that bond. I was so worried about her knowing who I was and not being with me. My little "border baby" as she was called. I was so afraid we would never form that bond. I think we have been successful in forming this bond over the last three months between the early morning feedings and the time we spend together while Kayla is at school. I am going to miss this time so much! What I would do to be a stay at home mommy! I kick myself now for having debt to pay!!

Many of my friends ask how I have been feeling and most days I am feeling 100%! The last two days I have been really concerned because I have been having chest pains again. I wonder if this is something that I am going to struggle with for the rest of my life? I woke up this morning scared because it was hurting so bad and it has hurt on and off all day. What happens when I go back to work and am feeling way more stressed out than I am now? Then what happens? I know that congestive heart failure is something that you have to deal with and constantly monitor. It is really scary. I finally got back on the treadmill last week and was so scared to do so. I made sure Tom was home in case something happened. Isn't that sad that I am afraid to get on the treadmill? I was always looking for an excuse not to get on it before I had Audrey, now I want to and am so scared!! I try not to think about the whole heart failure thing but I find myself thinking about it every day. I wonder if it will ever be something that I don't constantly think about? I know that every day I think about it though makes me that much more grateful that I have another day here with my girls and my family.

Okay, on to something more bright!! I was so excited to go scrapbooking this Saturday with Heather, Missy, and Shane! I feel like I got so much accomplished!! I was so upset at how quickly the time went by! It always does when I am on a roll for some reason!! I am soo excited to have my layouts posted on Scrapbook Bakery's site! I am going t take some pics and put them on here though, just because I am so excited about my pages! :) I am looking forward to having another girl's day out so I can get much more done!

Well, I have rambled on quite a bit! It is time to go and make dinner! I am going to try to get layouts posted either tonight or tomorrow morning!