In a Funk

I don't get it, I just came back from a great vacation with my family to Disney World for the first time ever and I am in this terrible, horrible funk! I don't know what it is but I am feeling so down and dumpy and depressed. I keep wanting to think that it is "after-vacation blues" but I don't know what the deal is!

You know, people always say the grass is always greener on the other side and I think I have a touch of that going on right now. Watching families in Disney and looking at the happy parents and kids and then I look at my family and kids and think, "Where did I go wrong?" Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and my husband but I just don't feel that "bliss" that I feel I should be feeling. I feel like my children fight from the time they get up in the morning and they will do whatever they can to get under each other's skin. Whether it is name calling, hitting each other, or just being down-right nasty, this is what they do every day! My oldest child is grateful for nothing and takes everything for granted (at least this is how I feel. I am sure this isn't the case but I feel like it is often). She doesn't yet get the whole concept of money and how much we actually do for her and sacrifice for her on a daily basis just so that she can dance and do what she loves to do. I am actually getting a second job just so I can support her and still have a little "fun money" for other things. Everything that I do daily revolves around her and her schedule and yet I get this mean, obnoxious little girl almost daily! I know inside of her there is this wonderful heart and very caring person in there but it is so tough some times to see this and remember that this is a little person that I am dealing with. She wants to be so grown up so fast and I am not handling the attitude and the greediness too well. I allow myself to get aggravated and nasty right back with her and I know this is not the answer.

Looking at the way my 3 year old behaves as a result of watching and listening to her older sister, I get just as discouraged and annoyed. I don't know what to do with her! She is feisty as all get out and she does exactly what Kayla does. Today she told Kayla that she was dumb and she hated her! Where does this come from?! I know she has learned it from Kayla! It is so not nice! I did not teach my children to behave this way and I just can't wrap my mind around where I went wrong in teaching them how to treat others!

Watching the people interact in Disney, I really took notice of the couples that were around us. It was so sad for me to watch married and unmarried people around me with such love and affection for each other and then look at myself and see really nothing. Where did I go wrong in my marriage that I am just co-existing with my spouse? I wanted to be in a place where I was absolutely in love with the person every day of my life and where I would look forward to the time we spent together, this just isn't the case. This is not easy for me by any means to sit and write. I am writing this as a way of coping and dealing with my feelings and emotions. Just like in raising my children, I wonder where I went wrong in my marriage. After 15 years of marriage in addition to 5 years of dating, we just exist. We are roommates in our house and we communicate basically when we have to. Our schedules revolve around the kids and work and rarely do we ever meet up, if we do, it is for a quick minute or two at dinner and then it is off again. This isn't anything new in our relationship, it has been building for about four years now and I have thought more about it lately than I ever have. I feel like a failure and I am not sure how to get that spark and romance back...will it ever come back. It is really scary to think that I am going to spend the rest of my life just existing with this person that I have spent more than half my life with. I don't know if we will ever get back to the way we were especially when we rarely talk. When you have let things go and neglect your relationship for so long, can you ever get it back? I know I am mostly to blame for all of this but at the same time, marriage is a two-way street. I notice more and more that he seems to want to spend less and less time with me. We both have neglected our marriage and we both have chosen to do nothing about it. This is what is so difficult for me to process. Watching people this past week who you could tell were absolutely, totally in love with each other and then here we are fighting. Not good for the morale. Hmmmm. I know he loves me and I do love him, but as I lay awake at night I wonder if that is enough to last a life time when there really isn't anything else.

One More Obsession!

So in my previous post I mentioned that there were very few things that I am obsessed with, well this is another of those obsessions:

I am in LOVE with this site. Basically what Pintrest is it is a virtual bulletin board so to speak. You can "pin" anything that you have an interest in onto bulletin boards that you create! For example, I have been working on several designs for wedding invitations and when I find something I like I drag the image to my Pintrest icon and I can "pin" it to one of my saved bulletin boards. You can follow other people's bulletin boards as well. When you follow a person's boards you can choose which of the boards of theirs that you would like to follow or you can choose to follow them all. It is great to follow a person's boards because when you log onto the site, you come to a home page where you can see all of the items that have been pinned by those you are following. You can then take any of their "pins" and "pin" them onto any of your boards! I love it because it is just such a wealth of fabulous ideas and images!

Your boards can range from ideas for the home, fashion, crafty, pretty much anything you want! I am in LUST with this site! I think this past Sunday I pretty much spent my entire day playing on it!!

If you have a chance check it out! Please make sure that you note, you have to be "invited" to a part of this site. You can ask for an invitation, which is what I did, and when they decide to make space for you, you will receive your invitation to join. I PROMISE, you won't be disappointed!

Thanks for stopping by! :-D

Obsessed!

So I have to admit, I am kind of a nerd!! I started reading this series back before they even became popular.

I started reading the series not only because it looked good but also because I am always looking for good books to "suck" my students into reading. When I started Twilight however many years ago, I was captivated right away!! I quickly read the first book and moved onto New Moon but I can say that I had a more difficult time reading through this one for some reason. I put it down for about a month before going back to it. I am glad I did! I finished New Moon and Eclipse just in time for Breaking Dawn to be released. I had been trying to convince my friends and sister that they NEEDED to read these books but they all thought I had lost my mind! Finally my sister-in-law picked up Twilight and she was quickly sucked in!! My first victim!!!

I convinced her to go with me the night Breaking Dawn was being released in bookstores. We went to the bookstore to hang out until midnight when it would go on sale at a discounted price! I was sooooo excited! I felt like a teenager hanging out at the bookstore with all these teeny-boppers!! We had fun and I realized that I am very grateful for no longer being a silly teenager!

I think I finished Breaking Dawn in about 2 1/2 days! It was so good! I have convinced more friends and my sister as well to read this series and I think they are glad they did!

I have seen all of the movies several times and probably could recite Twilight by heart if I had to! I am soooooo looking forward to seeing Breaking Dawn in November (not that I am rushing my summer or my life, just looking forward to seeing it!)! There are few things that I am obsessed with in life, but this is definitely one of them!!

Click Here http://youtu.be/uycOpnYnd5g to watch the new trailer! I CANNOT WAIT!!!!

Thanks for allowing me to share my obsession with you!! Be back soon!

My Scrapbook Room

Hi!

I just wanted to stop in real quick and share some photos of my scrapbook room that I have been working on for about a year. The basic pieces have been complete since probably July of last year but I am still working on the organization. I have to say, I absolutely LOVE my new space!!

We live in an old 1950s Cape Cod and our upstairs was finished when we moved in. It has the old slanted ceilings and the previous people added some cool features in the two rooms up there, like pocket doors, built in drawers, and built in shelves. There are cute little features that have been to my benefit organizing scrapbook supplies!

Here are some pictures:

These are pictures from the entry way in my room:

I would have never imagined green, hot pink, and black working together but I absolutely love the color combination!! I feel like when I go into this room, it is a happy, comfortable, creative place!! LOVE IT!!

I have plenty more things to share but didn't want to make this a super long post! I will be back soon with more pictures of my room and some ideas on how I organized things. Maybe some one out there has some ideas that you would be willing to share that may work in my space as well?!?

Thanks for stopping by!

Cards for James

Hi Everyone!


I have FINALLY been allowed to download pictures onto Blogger! I don't know if everyone else has been having these problems or if it is just my computer illiteracy! Glad to be back though!!

So my friend Shane has been doing a card drive for a sweet little boy in her son's kindergarten class. Here is James's story (taken from his Carepage - written by his parents)... "We wish that we didn't have a story, but the truth is we do. A few days after Christmas James experienced belly pain which was thought to be constipation. After visiting the pediatrician for an exam, we were sent for an x-ray. The x-ray confirmed a mass of some sort. At that time we were sent to Children's Hospital for an ultrasound which showed a 13 cm tumor in the left kidney. The probably diagnosis is a Wilm's tumor. James was originally scheduled for a left nephrectomy, however, the plan ended up changing due to a finding on the MRI. James has a small spot on his right kidney. This could be a "rest" which would be an insignificant finding -or it could be a bilateral Wilms tumor. Since we don't know for sure, he is being treated as though he has a bilateral Wilms tumor. The standard treatment for this is 6 weeks of chemo then surgery. James is a sweet, fun loving 5 year old with a big heart!"

Shane has been collecting cards for James and delivering them to his family. Just think of what a big smile these will put on this cute little boy's face! So, I need your help to make this card drive a success and put a smile on the faces of this family. All you need to do is create a card (or cards) with an upbeat cheery theme (please...no get well soon cards) and send them to Shane...

CARD FOR JAMES
c/o Shane Rieder
862 Gorham Drive
Cincinnati, OH 45245

*PLEASE INCLUDE A PIECE OF PAPER WITH YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, EMAIL, and THE NUMBER OF CARDS YOU SENT because there will be drawings for PRIZES!

She is also collecting cards for James's family ~
Sister ~ Grace (3 years) and
Parents ~ Matt and Heather

Here are a few cards I have made so far for the family:

This one is for James:

Loving the Hero Arts Monsters!!

Here is another card for James:

For James' sister Grace:

Again, Hero Arts stamps!

LOVE these butterfly stamps and background stamp from Hero Arts!

Close up of the butterfly sprayed with Perfect Pearls and Chipped Saphire Distress Ink.

Card for James' Parents:

Hero Arts Background stamp with distress ink and Perfect Pearls.

Just a little bit of time to create but hopefully put huge smiles on this families faces for a little while.

Thanks for stopping by! Have a lot more to share now that I have figured out how to upload photos again!

Trying to Blog

Hi!
I have tried now 3 times in the last week to get on here and share some of the work that I have been doing but I am not having any luck! Every time I try to upload pics to share the Blog refuses to upload them! I am wondering if anyone else is running into this problem or if it is something that I am doing?! I am so frustrated. If anyone has any ideas, I would GREATLY appreciate it!!
Hopefully I can figure this out soon as I have lots to share!!
See you soon!

Quick Share

Hi! Just wanted to pop in real quick and share a cute little card I made for a birthday party yesterday. Love the little Monster set from Hero Arts! This is the only "boyish" set that I own so it was fun creating with him!!

Not sure if you can tell or not but I popped up the balloon, a trick I learned from Heather, and I added some Glossy Accents to the balloon!

Thanks for stopping by, I will be posting again soon some other projects I have worked on over my Spring Break!

Goings On

Just wanted to pop in and say hi here! It has been a whirlwind of a few weeks here. Audrey got sick last week and I spent two days home with her as she recovered. It was nice to spend two days home alone with just her snuggling on the couch and watching Dora the Explorer (although I was insane from Dora by the end of the second day!). It was nice though to spend some time with her alone.

I went back to work on Thursday to get called into the Principal's office and told that I would not have a job at my school for next year. I have been surplussed. I now have to update my resume and interview at different schools in Cincinnati Public Schools. I am guaranteed a job in CPS at this point unless the district starts to cut more money and more jobs and then I may not have a job in the school district I have worked for my entire professional career! I have been here for 14 years! In a way I am glad that this has happened, it has given me a kick in the butt to go out and find something that I may be happier in. That may be a new school within the Cincinnati Public School District or that may be a job outside the inner city. I have options. I have to be proactive and go out and find something that is going to make me happy. I don't want to just settle to have a job. I would ideally like to get out of teaching altogether but unfortunately that is not in the cards for me! Bills to pay suck!! Some day!

To add to the black cloud hanging over me, I broke a wisdom tooth this past weekend and I had to have oral surgery to get all four wisdom teeth pulled out! Needless to say I was not happy! I know people have this done every day but I was honestly scared out of my mind! I try to play tough guy and in my brother's words, I tried to "Man Up"! But I was scared to death! The last time I went under general anesthesia it was a result of complications in my pregnancy and spent 3 days in ICU. So as you can see, I was pretty scared to go under again. You have no idea how excited I was when the nurse came in and woke me up! I spent the day in bed cuddling up and I am glad to say that I am not in too much pain! I am so glad for that!

I am hoping that this black cloud is now gone and we can get back on our happy road! Kayla will be competeing in Saturday in her first dance competition of the season! She will only be dancing 4 of her 7 numbers which works out fine, get those nerves out now! I am looking forward to spending the day watching her and her teammates dance!

Also looking forward to a 3 day weekend with my girls!! Hoping that at some point I can get a few scrapbook pages wrapped up that have been laying on my desk for several weeks waiting for me to get back to them!! I will post them soon!

Thanks for stopping by!

New Blog!

I just wanted to stop in and say a BIG, HUGE thank you to Kristina over at Two Happy Mamas for creating my beautiful new Blog!! Kristina did an awesome job and it was all complete in about a day! You ROCK Kristina!!
Just wanted to share and send anyone who is interested over to their website! These ladies ROCK!
Thanks for stopping by!!

2 Layouts

I have been working on part of my New Year's resolution by setting aside some time every day to scrapbook. It may not be a lot of time but it is time! I have found that laying my things out and starting on it and then going back to it whenever I have a few minutes is working AWESOME! I have completed 2 pages in the last week and have started another! I am loving it!

Since Kayla's new competition season is right around the corner (3 weeks away), I decided that I better get last season's pictures scrapbooked before I have a ton more to do! Here are my creations for two of her dances. The pictures are not that great but I am hoping with my new camera coming soon, my pictures will soon ROCK!!

Well, this is all for now! Thanks for stopping by!!

Happy New Year

Hi!

I have been really wanting to get back into the blogging seeing as I have seriously fallen behind. Unfortunately I can honestly say that I have not done too much crafting lately and that is what my blog originated as, a place to share my craft. I know people say that if you REALLY love scrapping or crafting, you will find a way to fit it into your life but really I feel like I am exhausted by the end of the day! It is my goal to get out of my rut and get back into the swing of things!

Over the summer I was able to create a new scrapping room all of my own, well actually I did create a space in my room for Kayla to sit and create with or without me. I am very fortunate to have this cozy space in my home to do what I love to do. I took a lot of time planning and decorating it and I honestly need to spend some time enjoying it now! Since it is a new year and time to make changes for the positive in our lives, that is what I am going to do. I have this AWESOME table to create at and I am going to plan to set aside a small bit of time each day to creating. It might be a card, a layout, or an actual craft. I can leave it lay and come back to it every day. Who knows, maybe I will get so involved that I will spend hours completing the entire project or layout!!

I haven't spent a lot of time scrapping or crafting but I have been spending a lot of time doing what I call "Blog Stalking"! I have been reading different Blogs and getting ideas for cards, layouts, and photography tips as I "stalk". One thing that really jumped out at me as I have been doing this is Ali Edwards's idea of "One Little Word" I have been thinking a lot of this concept and absolutely LOVE it! For those of you that are not familiar with it, the idea is that you choose a word that you want to spend an entire year working on, it is a word that is only about YOU. For more information, here is the link to Ali Edwards post explaining it way better than I can. I think that the word that I am going to focus on for the year is PEACE. I feel like I keep coming back to this word over and over again as I have been thinking of this concept. I feel like I need to find PEACE within my life and everything around me. Sometimes I feel like I am surrounded in chaos in my day to day life ~ from rushing out in the morning for work, to the craziness at work, rushing to pick up children, and getting Kayla to dance. Home life seems to be as chaotic ~ rushing through dinner, homework, bath, and bed just to get up in the morning and start all over again! So with all of that said, I strongly believe that I can benefit from PEACE in my life. One goal with this concept is that I want to create PEACE through spending time doing things that I LOVE, one of those being scrapbooking/crafting and then also writing. This is also where my Blog comes into play. I want to be better about getting on here and putting things down on "paper", I tend to feel so much better and feel like I can deal with things better when it is out in the open. I am hoping that through many things I can achieve that PEACE in my life that I am looking for. I know this is a process and I am sooo looking forward to this process! I am even hoping to pick up one of those beautiful necklaces featured in Ali Edwards post with my word on it. I think this will help me keep my focus daily even when I am feeling caught up in the chaos, something to ground myself, you know?

Well, since I have rambled on and on here, I am going to step away for the night and head off to my scrap room. I am hoping that I can interest Audrey in a Dora DVD so I can get something started!

Thanks for stopping by!